11 Times Amy Schumer's Real Talk Went Viral
Amy Schumer is famously candid about, well, everything. There’s little (possibly nothing) the comedian won’t touch in her standup routines, on social media, or with the press.
The actress kept one thing private, though: Her new boyfriend, chef Chris Fischer. Just a few days after going public with their relationship on Instagram, the couple wed in a private ceremony on Feb. 14 in front of quite a few celebrity guests.
Labeled as a “sex comic” (more on that later), Schumer confronts every bodily function as if she were describing a meal or texting her mom—though egregiously NSFW, her tone would have you fooled.
Clearly, Schumer is one funny lady—you can boil it down to stage presence, timing, or what have you, but I think the linchpin to Amy’s success is her ability to connect with her fans. She’s the kind of comedian who says what you were thinking but would never imagine saying out loud. She’s the kind of comedian whose jokes you re-tweet with the caption @me. She’s the kind of comedian you’re certain would be your bestie if circumstance allowed.
Pretty much everything that comes out of Schumer’s mouth is funny, but it’s those crazy viral moments that always strike a chord.
Scroll down below for a taste of Amy’s funniest and most viral real talk.
On Double Standards
During an interview with Esquire, Schumer opened up about the inherent differences between how male and female comedians are perceived: "I get labeled a sex comic. But if a guy got up onstage and pulled his dick out, everybody would say: 'He's a thinker.'"
On Self Perception
“So I showed up to film this movie and I was like, I think I’m a model now. I think a lot of girls are like this. We have a sneaking suspicion in the back of our heads like, Am I maybe …. gorgeous? I think I’m gorgeous. Right? I’m gorgeous, but I just haven’t stumbled on the right hairdo, you know? One day on a whim I’ll just cut bangs and everybody will be like, Damn! and I’ll be like, Oh my god, treat me the same you guys, I’m the same person under here." —Amy Schumer: Live at the Apollo Theatre
On Defying the Hollywood Norm
"In L.A. my arms register as legs." —A Night of Too Many Stars, 2015
On the People Behind the Scenes
Whilst tearfully accepting an Emmy award in 2015, Schumer thanked many of the sources behind her victory, including, of course, the makeup artist who gave her "sort of a smoky eye" for the ceremony.
During an appearance on The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon, Schumer admitted that she once sent an NSFW text to Katie Couric's husband when she stepped away from her phone at an event. “At the Glamour Women of the Year Awards … Katie Couric is like, ‘Oh my God, my husband is here … should I go to talk to him?’ I was like, ‘I don’t know, Katie Couric. That’s your husband. I guess?’ And I look and she left her phone open to texts from him. So don’t worry, I didn’t do anything, except I picked it up and I just without even thinking texted him: ‘I want to have anal tonight,’ and I sent it.”
On Hollywood's Unrealistic Attitudes
“I’m probably like 160 pounds right now and can catch a dick whenever I want.” —Glamour UK Women of the Year Awards acceptance speech
On Having a Vagina
"It's work having a vagina. Guys don't think that it’s work but it is. You think it shows up like that to the event? It doesn't. Every night it's like getting it ready for its first Quinceanera, believe me." —Amy Schumer: Mostly Sex Stuff
On Self Acceptance
"I feel happy. I think I look strong and healthy and also like Miss Trunchbull from Matilda." —Instagram, @AmySchumer
On Being Blackout Drunk
“Nothing good ever happens in a blackout. I’ve never woken up and been like, ‘What is this pilates mat doing out?’” —Amy Schumer: Mostly Sex Stuff
On the Paparazzi
"One of the first times I was paparazzied they caught me stand-up paddle boarding in Hawaii. I didn't even recognize myself. I saw the shots and thought, Oh cool, Alfred Hitchcock is alive and likes water sports. But nope. It was me." —The Girl with the Lower Back Tattoo
Schumer took to Instagram in December 2016 to put her body shamers in their place. "Is it fat shaming if you know you're not fat and have zero shame in your game? I don't think so. I am strong and proud of how I live my life and say what I mean and fight for what I believe in and I have a blast doing it with the people I love. Where's the shame? It's not there. It's an illusion. When I look in the mirror I know who I am. Im a great friend, sister, daughter and girlfriend. I'm a badass comic headlining arenas all over the world and making tv and movies and writing books where I lay it all out there and I'm fearless like you can be," Schumer wrote.