Please Stop Using Weird Sh-t to Apply Your Makeup: An Open Letter
DIY makeup tools have officially jumped the shark.
Look, I'm not knocking the whole life hack angle, nor am I knocking the person test-driving the technique—the whole movement of people using household objects to apply makeup isn't a new one. Repurposing a spoon as a stencil for your cut-crease eyeshadow can be pretty crafty. I can even get down with toothbrush contouring, to an extent. Using a tampon as a makeup sponge, however, is where I draw the line. Over the past few weeks, I've had friends send over a video of a beauty blogger using her super absorbency Tampax to do a full contour and highlight. It's funny, sure. After all, she's doing it for the 'gram, but if the whole point of using an unconventional object is to avoid product waste, then why are you using a tampon? Its sole point is to absorb blood during your 5 to 7 day monthly cycle. Aside from that, tampons can be kind of expensive. The "tampon tax" is a very real thing, and globally, many girls are missing school during their period because they don't have the resources to obtain sanitary products.
Just when I thought that was the most dramatic it would get, along comes condom contouring.
Yes, you're reading that right. In an effort to once again avoid product waste, bloggers, whether in jest or not, are stuffing foundation sponges into condoms to create a hybrid between that bra insert-esque silicone tool, and your tried-and-true BeautyBlender. By design, condoms come coated in lubricant, which can seriously irritate your skin, not to mention, that latex aroma bound to linger on your face. Just shell out the money for the Makeup Drop sponge ($20; makeupdrop.com), use condoms for their intended purpose, and avoid smelling like a balloon animal all day.
Unless of course you'd rather smell like a hard-boiled egg.
This movement has its roots in a YouTube challenge, as I'm sure the previous two probably did, but after a certain point I got lost in all the "100 layers" videos, and "do your full face using only highlighter/glitter/Crayola Crayons" challenges. After one blogger was dared to try out the method (in one of the funniest videos I've ever seen, mind you), fellow beauty bloggers and makeup aficionados followed suit. I'm equal parts impressed by their skill, and just horrified that they're pressing an actual peeled egg all over their faces. Esther's video was short, sweet, and set to Ed Sheeran's "Shape of You." I giggled a little when the "and now my bedsheets smell like you" line came up, imagining what that would entail if you decided to apply your full face with a boiled egg. I will never get over this.
VIDEO: How To Use (and Clean) a Beautyblender
I salute you, beauty MacGyvers of Instagram, and your willingness to enlist the weirdest methods possible so that you can watch the likes roll in. Your handiwork using the traditional tools is better than mine will ever be, but you know, let's not lump tampons, condoms, or eggs into the drugstore beauty category just yet.