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InStyle.com is teaming up with Style Me Pretty's editor and founder, Abby Larson, to answer your most pressing questions on all things weddings and engagements. Whether you are having trouble picking a wedding theme or have a question about etiquette, email Abby at weddings@instyle.com and check back here for her answer every two weeks.

Abby Larson, Style Me Pretty
Feb 06, 2017 @ 1:00 pm

Planning a wedding is stressful, even for the bridesmaids. There is time, money, and energy that has to be invested in many different forms and functions from the bachelorette party to gown shopping and the bridesmaids' brunch. In any group of girls, some will have more to say about each detail than others. But when one girl pipes up in a way that spoils the fun for the rest of the crew, it's time to fall back into history and purpose to lead the way. What does that mean, you ask? Enter: the maid of honor.

Historically speaking, the maid of honor was determined as the one person—usually closest to the bride who would understand her wants and needs—to lead the pack of bridesmaids down the right path. And the size of that pack was determined by the wealth and status of the bride's family. While we no longer follow the size requirements, when it comes to bridesmaids we do still look to the maid of honor to take the lead and you know what? We do that for a good reason.

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Brides are generally quite stressed as it is. They are balancing financial obligations, familial obligations, delicate new relationships with in-laws, and more details that you can’t possibly imagine. Adding stress that bridesmaids bring from simply not getting along will spoil the joyous part of wedding planning.

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So brides, listen up. It's your job to make sure all your maids know that your maid of honor is really the go-to girl. She will troubleshoot and solve problems before they are brought back to you. She will weed out the bad ideas and focus in on making sure you get the experience you really want. She will help to ensure that all of your wishes are translated and that your bridesmaids don't come straight to you with concerns over money or planning or anything else that could derail your joy.

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But what it really means, brides, is that you have to be super clear with your maid of honor as to what you want. Do you want surprises peppered along the way? Tell her. Do you hate surprises? Tell her. Do you want strippers or penis straws or spa treatments on the beach? Tell her. Let your maid of honor be your chief of staff so that you can just relax into the role of bride-to-be. It will be the best decision you ever made.

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