Tonight was THE night. There was one more rose. There was champagne chilling, and pizzas being ordered out nationwide. And then there was us, armed in sweats and sitting on the edge of our sofa, just waiting to see who would ride off with Rachel Lindsay into the sunset. In other words, The Bachelorette's three-hour finale aired tonight, and we were here for it. For every hour. Every minute.
There's clearly much to discuss, but perhaps it's easiest to break the whole thing down into the top moments we shall never, ever forget. Don't worry; we'll get to the winner. But first, let's review the highlight reel.
JUST KIDDING. We couldn't make you read this whole thing without revealing...BRYAN WON
1. Rachel Was Watching The Whole Thing Live With Us
Dream date! We get to watch this whole thing WITH Rachel? The Bachelorette herself joined Chris Harrisson onstage in Los Angeles for the entire, three-hour ordeal. She looked, like, stunning (as usual), in a plunging, pale-pink dress, sparkling stilettos, and lips glossed to the nines.
2. Juan Pablo is Married and OMG
Um... yay? Just a few minutes into the broadcast, Chris announced that Bachelor alum Juan Pablo is married. Why? Because Juan P. called into the show and asked him to, apparently. The moment was a little awkward. It spawned a lot of Internet memes. Moving on...
VIDEO: Bachelorette Rachel Lindsay on Why She Chose Bryan Abasolo
3. Rachel Spent the Night With Bryan and the SOUND EFFECTS
So, Rachel and Bryan did the whole fantasy-suite thing. There were some really loud, awkward, kind of gross smooching noises when the pair woke up to a feast of strawberries in bed. Bryan announced after the no-cameras date that his chemistry with Rachel was "hotter than ever." He felt he was an early favorite for scoring the final rose. Uh-oh. The Bachelorette gods do not like overconfidence. Is this a bad sign?
4. Rachel Wandered Spanish Grape Fields Looking Like a Fierce Warrior Princess
Rachel's outfit for the second-to-last rose ceremony. Pick us up off the floor, please. The flowing, paprika-colored gown had beaded sleeves that looked like feisty armor. Rachel had a smoky eye that meant business, along with the perfect pair of black booties. Is it Fall yet? Rachel says she is more confused than ever in this moment, but we're just in fashion awe. Oh, and sorry: Farewell, Eric. Eric, take a moment, say your goodbyes...
And now, we're down to two.
5. Peter is Seen Speculating Whilst Journaling on His Bed
While everyone takes a beat before the last ceremony, all our friends reflect. Bryan strolls through a sunlit field. Rachel dons a perfectly cozy, fleece-lined jacket. And Peter—who's not yet sure he wants to propose—stands before a breezy curtain with his brow furrowed, then journals, all moody in his bed.
Elsewhere, Rachel and Bryan take a casual hot-air-balloon ride. Bryan has no doubt he'll be "proposing to Rachel soon." Uh-oh.
6. Rachel Wears Camo For Her Final Date With Peter
Love is a battlefield. For her last date with Peter, Rachel is wearing a long, camouflage coat, a sparkling cocktail ring that could double as brass knuckles, and... is that an initial necklace that says P? Seriously, rewind the footage.
The two enter a monastery, and while B-roll showcases the sacrosanct interior, Peter tells us he has "developed feelings of love" for Rachel. Suave. Peter then plays off the theme, explaining that if he asks Rachel to marry him, it's a "major leap of faith."
We kind of want to yell run, Rachel, RUN! But we have an hour and a half to go.
7. There is a Too-Real Argument on the Couch
The couch scene. The COUCH SCENE! There is a painful discussion about whether Petey Boy is ready to propose or not, and our hair is standing on end. He's saying he's not quite there. Rachel is saying she wants a man who knows his own mind. It's like a ping-pong match. They're both wearing gray sweaters and jeans. We need a refill.
8. Rachel REALLY Knew What She Wanted...
The live show format officially screwed with our minds. When Peter was brought out to the live show and we found out they hadn't spoken "in months..." well, mouths. on. floor. AND he tried to reach out? AND she refused? WHAT?!?!?! Would Peter have handled that last night differently? He doesn't' think so. Rachel's thoughts?
“I don’t think this world, this journey, this process, this show…I don’t think it’s for you.”
9. The Finale BLEW Us Away
Literally, it was filmed in a wind tunnel, I think. Bryan selected a Neil Lane pear cut diamond ring (number of carats TBD). And we've never seen a calmer contestant. It's like he knew he was the only one. He's never looked more relaxed in his entire life. Rach, you looked gorgeous, but your lashes looked like they might take flight! I was concerned.
10. But Wait, What If Peter HAD Proposed?
The question on all of our minds: What would have happened if Peter had actually proposed? Would Bry still have won? Would she still be sporting that pear cut diamond ring? We'll be back tomorrow with all the reactions from tonight's historic episode.