Not unlike the universe we live in, our love for Amy Schumer is constantly expanding. Our May cover girl has been known to keep it real at all times, and she's no different when it comes to doling out her best beauty advice. We, too, shave our legs with crappy disposable razors, and forget to layer on shaving cream beforehand. We, too, miss entire strips of hair along our lower leg, only to find out about it later when we have the audacity to don a sun dress. Her date night beauty advice, however, ranks at the top of our list of quotables from the above video.
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"I'm like a year and a half into my relationship, so I don't really wear makeup at home. That's over for him," she says. "But, if we've kind of been fighting or something, you wanna look a little better so you have a little bit of the upper hand. I'll use a sunblock with tinted moisturizer, and then mascara, and blush of some kind, so I'm like 'I'm not wearing makeup. What?'" Okay but like, same, girl. Same. We will fight about you skipping ahead an episode of us on our show, and we will look good doing it, thanks. Hit play on the video above to get all of her beyond-relatable beauty tips in full.
The one beauty product I can't leave without, toilet paper [LAUGH] in style. [MUSIC] Amy Schumer amazing beauty tips, one. Well I drink a lot and then it gets really dehydrated And my makeup artist. We called her dream money She walks in and she looks at me and goes and then she fixes it. The secret to a good facial? As someone who is now had three is I don't know. I have had three facials. [MUSIC] A sunburn cure. Bloody mary, no I think just like feeling bad about yourself that you are 35 and you are still getting sun burns I'm a serious sun block wearer. I put like a hundred and sixty on my face. I use horse shampoo. No. I'm just kidding. Kim [UNKNOWN] does my hair. I really would look like Charlize Theron in Monster, like it would just be a little Kim mullet and Kim brings it to life. [MUSIC] She's magic. I shave my legs with a disposable razor. Those awful little short violent ones. And I use nothing and it hurts and I miss full strips on my knees like everyone else. [MUSIC] Yes, so I'm like a year and a half into my relationship. So I don't really wear make up at home anymore, that's over for him. But if it's like we've kind of been fighting or something, you wanna like look a little better so So you have a little bit of the upper hand. I'll use like a sunblock with tinted moisturizer and then mascara and a little like blush of some kind. So I'm like, I'm not wearing makeup, what? But really, I was like, [SOUND], you know? [MUSIC] My philosophy is love yourself. Like you're your own mother, and you're like ew, your mom would be like no, you look good, right? That just went viral already. Yes.