Was the Fifty Shades Darker Soundtrack Sexy Enough?

Was the <em>Fifty Shades Darker</em> Soundtrack Sexy Enough?
Doane Gregory/Universal Pictures/Courtesy of the Everett Collection
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If you haven't seen Fifty Shades Darker yet, then it would appear that you've been making much better life choices than we have. The first two big screen adaptations of E.J. James's erotic trilogy haven't exactly been riveting cinematic experiences. Honestly, though, it's never been about the storylines for us; we came for the torrid love affair, people! And in all fairness, what these films lack in effective storytelling, they make up for in music—the soundtracks have historically been really good.

Of course, any movie soundtrack needs a variety of music to move with the ebbs and flows of the story, but when it comes to the 50 Shades franchise, it's all about those sexy tunes. If you're like us and believe that all the scenes between the steamy ones are just filler, then listen to the soundtrack below and then read on to get our thoughts on which songs brought the heat this time around.

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1. Zayn & Taylor Swift, “I Don’t Wanna Live Forever (Fifty Shades Darker)”

We've been fully obsessed with this song ever since it dropped ahead of the movie's premiere. Taylor Swift's moody crooning and Zayne's sky high notes provide the perfect back and forth chemistry.

The Verdict: Yeah, it's hot!

2. Halsey, “Not Afraid Anymore”

This song is haunting and sexy all at the same time. We're here for it!

The Verdict: Yeah, it's hot!

Universal Pictures/Courtesy of the Everett Collection

3. JRY feat. Rooty, “Pray”

This song is catchy, but it seems like it'd be more suited to accompany a training montage a la Creed than a kinky sex scene.

The Verdict: Nah, it's just not.

4. Tove Lo, “Lies in the Dark”

Leave it to Tove Lo and her penchant for sensual tunes to totally nail her contribution to this soundtrack. She just gets it—afterall, she did co-write Ellie Goulding’s “Love Me Like You Do,” from the first film.

The Verdict: Yeah, it's hot!

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5. Toulouse, “No Running from Me”

The way this song combines blues and pop is actually really cool, but it sounds more playful than sultry.

The Verdict: Nah, it's just not.

6. John Legend, “One Woman Man”

We love John Legend so dang much! What's sexier than a man fiercely declaring monogamy? Nothing.

The Verdict: Yeah, it's hot!

Doane Gregory/Universal Pictures/Courtesy of the Everett Collection

7. The-Dream, “Code Blue”

This one reminds us a lot of singer Miguel, with its guitar riffs and dreamy falsetto. Swoon!

The Verdict: Yeah, it's hot!

8. Nick Jonas & Nicki Minaj, “Bom Bidi Bom”

Ok, we see you, Nick Jonas! We had no idea the kid could hold his own with Nicki Minaj, but he definitely can.

The Verdict: Yeah, it's hot!

9. Sia, “Helium”

This is arguably the best song on the entire soundtrack, but it's just so emotional. And the only emotion we can to feel right now is arousal.

The Verdict: Nah, it's just not.

RELATED: New Fifty Shades Darker Trailer Reveals Shocking Twist

10. Kygo feat. Andrew Jackson, “Cruise”

This track isn't all that sexy, but it sure does make us want to drive down the coast with the convertible top down!

The Verdict: Nah, it's just not.

11. Corinne Bailey Rae, “The Scientist”

Ugh, what did we say about emotions? We're on the verge of tears, so we'll pass.

The Verdict: Nah, it's just not.

12. José James, “They Can’t Take That Away From Me”

Our grandmothers would love this vintage sounding tune. Next.

The Verdict: Nah, it's just not.

Doane Gregory/Universal Pictures/Courtesy of the Everett Collection

13. JP Cooper, “Birthday”

Aw, this one is sweet, but it's birthday suits we're after here.

The Verdict: Nah, it's just not.

14. The Avener feat. Mark Asari, “I Need a Good One”

Another toe-tapper that doesn't exactly turn up the heat.

The Verdict: Nah, it's just not.

15. Joseph Angel, “Empty Pack of Cigarettes”

This one had us from that opening coo! And that guitar solo? Sold!

The Verdict: Yeah, it's hot!

16. Anderson East, “What Would It Take”

Ok, so we've been adamant about our aversion to feeling things, but there's something subtly sexy about this one.The singer's raspy voice, perhaps?

The Verdict: Yeah, it's hot!

7. Frances, “What Is Love?”

Please don't make us ponder the meaning of love right now! Please?!

The Verdict: Nah, it's just not.

18-19. Danny Elfman, “On His Knees” & “Making It Real”

These really don't even count since they're just instrumentals that play as the credits roll, but in the name of thoroughness, we'll just go ahead and say that these tunes aren't getting us weak in the knees.

The Verdict: Nah, it's just not.

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