Alicia Brunker
Apr 29, 2018 @ 3:30 pm

With a successful DJ career, an engagement to boyfriend, Chris Zylka, and plans for a family, it seems as if Paris Hilton is ready for the next phase of her life, but there's still a part of the heiress's past that haunts her. 

During a Q&A panel after the screening of Bert Marcus's new documentary, The American Meme, which follows the life of various social media stars, including Hilton, Josh "The Fat Jew" Ostrovsky, and Brittany Furlan, the 37-year-old got candid about her infamous sex tape at the 2018 Tribeca Film Festival. 

"It was like being raped," Hilton says of the 2004 scandal, according to USA Today. "It felt like I'd lost part of my soul and been talked about in such cruel and mean ways. I literally wanted to die at some points. I was like, 'I just don't want to live,' because I thought everything was taken away from me. I didn't want to be known as that."

In 2011, Paris expressed a similar sentiment to Piers Morgan when asked about her sex tape. 

"When I was a little girl, I looked up to people like Princess Diana and these women and I feel like he took that away from me," she said. "This is not what I planned. I didn't want to be known as that. Now when people look at me, they think that I'm something I'm not, just because of one incident one night, with someone who I was in love with, people assume, 'Oh, she's a slut,' just because of one thing that happened to me."

The former reality star saw Marcus's documentary as a way to show that there's another side to her than what the public perceives. "I felt like the world was introduced to me through The Simple Life," she said. "There was no reality television back then, so it was very new. There was no social media, so I basically created this character that was basically what I thought the audience wanted, like, 'Oh, she's rich, so she needs to be a spoiled airhead'—basically what the producers told me to do."

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Now, Hilton is engaged to her longtime boyfriend, and is looking ahead to her future. "I'm very excited for the next phase of my life and to start a family and find true happiness," she said. "Because, yes, this is so much fun. I love what I'm doing—it's great being in Ibiza every summer DJing until eight in the morning—but sometimes it gets a little tiring."

Hilton continued: "I'm still going to continue being the girl boss I am, but I'm also going to be a mom, and I can't wait for that day."

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