Mindy Kaling has opened up about her fears that she will never get married and become a mom.
The 36-year-old star admits in her new book Why Not Me? that she is dogged by fears in the middle of the night.
In a section called "4AM Worries," Kaling writes: "In my 30s, I gained a sense of calm that came from professional stability and, although this is not backed by science, a general slowing of my metabolism, which is why I can gain seven pounds from eating one heavy dinner.
"As calm as I might be, still, about once a month, I wake up at 4 a.m. and lie in the dark worrying about the same handful of things."
She proceeds to list one fear as "I will never have a husband and all my female acquaintances will", alongside: "What if my kids are really young when I die because I waited too long to have them?"
Kaling also jokes that she worries she will have a husband and he will be "like my female acquaintances' husbands."
Despite her worries, Kaling confesses that "I really, really don't like weddings,” adding: "At its heart, my annoyance or impatience with my friends' weddings stems from my own panic and abandonment issues. 'Why are you leaving me behind like this, friend?'"
And for those who wish for Kaling and her one-time love and now close friend B.J. Novak to end up together, she does write at length about her feelings for him.
Novak played Kaling's on-screen boyfriend on The Office and in her book, Kaling describes her ex-boyfriend as her "soul mate," or in true Kaling style her "soup snake" [the term] comes from an episode of The Office in which Michael Scott, played by Steve Carell, fumbles over his words and calls love interest Holly his "soup snake" instead of soul mate.
She says: "I will freely admit: my relationship with B.J. is weird as hell. He is not my boyfriend, but he is not exactly my best friend. The best way I would describe him is that he is my ex-husband … I don't think Facebook would accept that as a new status. They would just categorize it as 'it's complicated.'"
"But it's not complicated to me. He's my soup snake.”