Have you ever looked at something on a runway and think, “Who would ever wear that?” Well, the answer is…I would! Seriously. A few weeks ago when I was sitting at the Dion Lee fashion show (below) and saw the sterling silver face jewelry by Sarah and Sebastian, I was like “MINE!” Thankfully, I know a guy. And by a guy I mean Robert Sebastian Grynkofki, aka the Sebastian of Sarah & Sebastian. Though Robert had only a few short hours in town post show, I was able to coerce him into making me my very own mask. After about 20 minutes of his expert molding, I was ready. “Well, you might have difficulty eating and talking," he explained as it was being fit around my chin, "but it looks great!” Wait, what? Ahead, the lessons learned from being that girl, yes the girl in the face jewelry.
Lesson 1: My Friends Have My Back
I document most of my life for my friends on Snapchat. Because they saw Robert fitting the metal to my face, I received many curious inquiries, but, don't worry, no one was concerned because I do stuff like this all the time (last year I died my eyebrows blue because the Dior Couture runway said that was a thing!). Yes, I'm confident with myself, but why not? My friends have got my back, so it doesn't matter when, say, people on the street can't stop staring. Yup, they couldn't.
Lesson 2: Controlling Your Emotions Is A Great Skill
The thing about face jewelry that is custom modeled to you is that you actually have pretty limited mobility in your face. So, no laughing, no smiling, no frowning. Anything that could possibly disrupt my face jewelry was not allowed. To a weaker person, this might have been a challenge, but I welcomed it. I was stoic as a statue or, as luck would have it, a runway model.
Lesson 3: Suffering For Fashion Is A Real Thing
Guess what you can’t really do with face jewelry? Eat or drink. I was able to finagle drinking with a straw, but eating was a continuous challenge. Holiday diet plan, check. What you are lacking in calories, you will make up for in compliments. In the Time Inc. elevator bank, someone exclaimed “Oh my God! Is that an accessory?” I gave a very slight smile and nod because as I said before, talking is difficult. She responded with “Wow, that is so cool.” Yes it is...but I was still hungry.
Lesson 4: Learning To Accept Your Imperfections Is Also A Real Thing
The sterling silver piece is fitted to go directly in the middle of your face. It runs a perfect line from the middle of your head, down you forehead and nose, right over your philtrum (that’s that weird thing under your nose), over your lips and finally wraps neatly around your chin. If symmetry is the marker of true beauty a la Christy Turlington Burns, then guys, well...I have no words. But, I already knew my face wasn't perfect. I mean, I have a side part for a reason, but with my custom face jewelry, I was constantly looking at how one side of my nose is bigger than the other.
Lesson 5: In-Person Communication Is Underrated
Life is not great when you can’t communicate. I know that we all love technology and texting, but guys, it is kind of isolating to be forced to be silent. I always say I don’t like talking to people, but, actually, I think I like talking to people. Well, at least I want the option.
In the end, I guess, the practical ones are right: some runway pieces don't translate to everyday life. I do have to say though, if you really want to feel a bit like land-borne Ariel in The Little Mermaid, it is a cool experiment—meaning I'm not going to stop trying these things—Saint Laurent tiara, here I come.