Little rivals Christ Pratt's comically genius captions on his Instagram photos, which is made clear when scrolling through his adventure-filled feed. Even the actor's bio on the photo-sharing app is hilarious: "I use my twitter for jokes mostly. But I use my Instagram for deeper more meaningful stuff like pictures mostly."
From his adventures abroad while promoting his movie Jurassic World to spending quality time with his family (wife Anna Faris and son Jack) at home, the star isn't shy about giving us a glimpse into his life. One of our favorite snaps? The shirtless selfie he shared while getting in shape for Guardians of the Galaxy (above), that he captioned: "Six months no beer. #GOTG Kinda douchey to post this but my brother made me."
In honor of Jurassic World's release today, check out 27 times Chris Pratt had the absolute best 'gram captions below.
If you've ever read the poem "Footprints," which is about a guy who walks with Jesus down the beach and at one point there's only one set of footprints because Jesus flies off or pulls a trick of some kind I can't remember anyways I wrote that poem and it's actually about my wife and how when there was no footprints it's cause we took off in a helicopter. So I'm sorry for the misunderstanding. If you purchased a copy of "Footprints," and have it on your wall you owe me fifty thousand dollars PLUS INTEREST. And if you ever felt like you were alone just remember that Jesus could walk on water so technically he probably wouldn't have left footprints to begin with. BUT JESUS DOES LOVE YOU. That is for sure. And so does my wife.
These seashells are for sale. I discovered them on a remote green sand beach accessible only by aircraft. By aircraft I of course mean helicopter or jet pack or I guess by boat too. But not car. Unless the car can fly or swim. The seashells are going for $12Million. They must remain at the beach. YOU'RE BASICALLY BUYING VISITATION RIGHTS. I legally need to be very clear about that. The shells are not to be touched. You owe my fifty thousand dollars just for looking at this picture.
Here's another angle of my waterfall. I'll probably name it something like Freedom Falls or JurassicWorldStarChrisPrattFalls or Humble Warrior Falls or something bad ass like that. You owe me one hundred thousand dollars because you can see both of my waterfalls. One belongs to my son. It's called Jack Pratt Airborne Stream LLC. Officially. You have to pay taxes for seeing it. His is the same price as mine you don't get a discount just because he's just a boy. #SorryNotSorry you can just send money or a credit card number to me at "Humble Tiger Waterfall"
I had shaved for SNL and now I'm back to playing Andy on Parks and Rec so I must have my beard glued on every day. Pretty amazing. And real human hair! Which I'm reminded of every time I take a bite of food. #TastesLikeRealHair #WhosHairAmIEating? #Seriously #Gross #Showbiz #ManBeard #GodBlessAmerica #GodBlessMyFakeAndyBeard #RandomHairStuckToMyLips #Badass
I am the meat in this glorious man sandwich. #DaveBautista is the bun and @jamesgunn is the pickle (For reasons I'm not comfortable explaining here) #GOTG #AKA #GUARDIANSOfTheGalaxy #ThreeMenAndaLittleMovie #dreamer #USA #weapons #drax #beautiful #ManHug #Embrace #MachoCuddle #DudeSqueeze #BroHug #bearhug #deathClutch #Wrestle