Amy Schumer is no stranger to putting her love life on full display for all to see. After all, her upcoming film Trainwreck is based, not so loosely, on her own dating experiences, and if you’ve seen her do standup you probably have an intimate idea of what goes down in her bedroom. So when we had the chance to sit down with Schumer, we couldn’t help but ask the hilarious comedienne for her tongue-in-cheek advice on navigating the world of dating. Read on for her nine best tips:
1. Know your strengths and weaknesses.
"I'm great at dating because I am very fun to start a relationship with. I put my whole heart into it, and I'm impulsive. And I'm down to travel together and, like, go to another country. And I have sex usually very quickly in a relationship, so that's how I'm good and fun to date. And then I'm bad because I chicken out and get scared and overwhelmed and run away."
2. Dating friends is a no-no.
"I usually date my friends, like people that I'm close to already. And then we kind of try dating, and that's hard. It's not good to date your friends, I don't think."
3. As is online dating—at least for Schumer.
"I never dated online. I never went on an online date. I don't know. It just seems like so much rejection. It seems really hard, scary. I feel like you can't do that."
4. It's OK to be aggressive and go for what you want.
"I really like a shy guy. I like to be the aggressor, I think. At first, anyways. I like them to be more the aggressor in the bedroom, but I like to be the one that kind of initiates initial contact."
5. You'll outgrow your bad-boy phase.
"I think when I turned 30 [is when I started to get wise about bad boys]. I was like, this is not good for anybody. It's fun at first though!"
6. There will be some immediate deal breakers.
"Too close to your mom, narcissist, picky eater, someone who doesn't like to go down on me [are deal breakers for me]."
7. When you know it's not going to work, it's ok to get out of there.
"I'm a little more into sticking around, figuring it out. But then once I know, I'm very quick to get out of there."
8. But you need to let them know why it's not working.
"Even if I go out with a guy once, and I know I don't want to see him again, I'll just ... guys want answers. If a guy doesn't want to see me again, I'm not like, 'What did I do?' I'm like, 'OK, bye.' But guys want answers because their egos are more sensitive, I think. And if a guy presses you enough, you go, OK. Well, you drank too much on the date. Then they're very defensive, and you kind of can't win."
9. It's not always the male doing the hurting.
"I think I got more sensitive when I turned around 30, and just, there's that misconception that men hurt women and women don't hurt men. And I realized that I've hurt a couple people. And I didn't want to do that anymore."
VIDEO: Watch the Trailer for Trainwreck
—With reporting by Scott Huver