Shan Boodram
Shan Boodram
Nov 10, 2017 @ 3:30 pm

I dare you to find a more intriguing way to describe your outfit than: “It vibrates.”

For the past three years of my life I’ve been saying these two words to strangers, friends, and even a suspicious Secret Service team at a Hillary Clinton event. My vibrator necklace is a metallic, bullet-like pendant that has been mistaken for a pen, vile, whistle, portable urn, railroad spike, and lip gloss. If I don’t want you to know what it is, you won’t, which is one of the things I love most about it: Like a woman’s sexuality, it’s my choice who gets to share in the mystery.

But usually, I choose to share it with anyone who inquires (which people often do) for the same reasons I choose to wear the Vesper in the first place—awareness, acknowledgement, community ... and cuteness!

Let’s begin with awareness: My absolute favorite comment to get from men is “Isn’t that too small to be a sex toy?” Then I get to gleefully dish out a two-minute lecture on the clitoris, female sexual pleasure, and the vast variety of small, vibrating bullets that are tucked away in drawers all around the world. I hope that these micro tutorials transition into orgasms for some lucky someone, somewhere...

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Now, onto acknowledgement. In a society where women are extremely sexualized, it’s insanely bizarre that most people still have a hard time seeing women as sexually desirous. The bulk of the adult industry disregards our needs or doesn't make them a priority. Why? Mainly because they think we aren’t interested. I can't tell you how many times I've heard from people who think that women do not masturbate at all. When our pleasure is acknowledged, it’s usually only the small percentage of women who enjoy orgasms from penetration who get accurate representation. It isn’t much, but when I wear my 24-karat gold-plated vibrating necklace out in the world, it’s my way of saying to others and to myself: “My pleasure exists! It is real, it is necessary, it is attainable, and—most of all—it is not shameful!”

Community. Yes I’m sure that to some, their vibrating necklace is strictly a quick thrill during Monday morning traffic, but for others, it’s a symbol of sexual freedom. I’ve received so many pride-filled emails, been stopped countless times, and even been sent screenshots of celebrities spotted wearing a suspiciously familiar piece. Those who own one are proud to meet others who do too. Nothing grounds me and fills me with joy like hearing a timid passerby whisper, “I know what that necklace is!” Making a statement solo is powerful, but doing it as a community is the path to progress. 

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Finally, if you ask me, the necklace is damn cute and goes with almost any outfit, on any occasion. When I first bought it, I was simply searching for a cheap, powerful vibrator, but its chic design is what drew me to Crave’s wearable. Years later, I am the first and only ambassador for this necklace—and even created my own limited edition—because it isn’t only a perfect product, but it perfectly represents me and what I hope to achieve as a sexual educator. 

My pleasure isn’t taboo—it’s a shiny, cheeky, and chic. I advocate for my pleasure in many ways, but daily, I march for it with a cool conversation piece that I’m proud to use in the bedroom and wear in the boardroom—or on the subway, on The View, at Christmas dinner, at the mall, to your grandma’s house ... you get the point.

Shan Boodram is a sexologist and host of the Facebook show Make Up or Break Up.

EDITOR NOTE: This article's headline has been edited since it's originally publication. 

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