Don’t you know the seven-minute wine chilling trick?
This is what my favorite wine clerk asks me, with an emoji-eseque shrug, when I request a litre of chilled rosé that she doesn't have.
Most likely because of my blank stare, she then swiftly recited the simplest, palm-to-face process that could be: Wet a bunch of paper towels (or a dish towel), wrap your warm or room temperature bottle of wine in them, and stick it in the freezer for seven minutes.
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How? Not possible—maybe? I had to try it as soon as I walked in the door. I giddly sped-walked home, ahead of my party, and immediately doused paper towels at my sink, unwadded them, and wrapped them around my bottle of wine.
Seven minutes later, I eagerly unwrapped the half-frozen paper towels from my bottle—and well, it was a little bit cold. My theory then was that it works much better for a normal bottle of wine (750 milliliters), but a liter takes double the time—14 minutes was pretty darn drinkable.
We tried it again in the office on a regular bottle, and found it best to: a) use a dish towel and b) get it sopping wet—don't wring it out! The wine was chilled, not cold, and infinitely more enjoyable than it would have been seven minutes earlier.