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How to Make a Birthday Cake Shake, the Ultimate Boozy Frozen Treat

How to Make a Birthday Cake Shake, the Ultimate Boozy Frozen Treat
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This article, "Recipe of the Week: Things on Toast Edition," first appeared on xoJane. For more stories like this, visit xojane.com now.

Hello my most darling dears, and welcome back to a sweet and boozy episode of Recipe of the Week. Last week's installment will go down in history as one of the most successful ROTW's, for many cold and frosty treasures were shared for all to enjoy.

There were many worthy contenders, but Duff took home the gold with her Drunk Birthday Cake Shake:

Drunk Birthday Cake Shake. Start with your preferred base (almond milk, regular milk, whatevs, just has to be vanilla or unflavored) in your blender. Add a couple heaping tablespoons of white or vanilla powdered cake mix. Add vanilla ice cream and a generous amount of whipped cream vodka. Add a fat handful of rainbow sprinkles. BLEND, DRINK, AND RELAX. Adding some extra sprinkles on top for garnish is a plus. If you're watching your calories, lose the ice cream, add some vanilla Quest protein powder, and use ice instead. So, so good.

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I will let you guess as to whether I used cake mix or protein powder, because it's not really a "guess," is it?

The only real change I made was using regular vodka instead of whipped cream vodka, because it was raining and I didn't want to walk to the liquor store and because I get sent a bottle of plain vodka at least once a month. (I don't drink a lot of plain vodka, so I have a lot I need to "get rid of.")

Toast
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Oh, and though it wasn't specified, I topped the whole thing with Reddi-Wip, more sprinkles, and a cherry, because it just seemed like the right thing to do.

Toast
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Then I stuck a candle in there and sang the birthday song to myself, even though my birthday isn't until August, because that also just seemed like the right thing to do. 

Thank you, Duff, for providing us with such a magical frozen treat. You deserve a marvelous trophy for this, so I will leave you with my favorite birthday song of all time:

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Scootin' right along.

Have you guys heard of avocado toast? Of course you have, because you are all on the internet, and—as evidenced by the fact that you read this very important food column—are in-tune with the culinary zeitgeist.

Toast
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But toast toppings don't begin and end with avocado. Pretty much anything can be put on a piece of toasted bread and sold for $8 at a fancy coffee shop. Did you know that there is an entire cookbook dedicated to toast? There is. It is called "Toast."

I will be the first to admit that this fancy toast craze is kind of silly, but I will also be the first to admit that I love things on toast. I don't think I would go so far as to buy the above cookbook, but I have paid too much money for a piece of bread with stuff on it (at Sqirl in Los Angeles) and you know what? It was really good.

So now I would like to hear what you love putting on a piece of toasted bread. I already know what Tynan likes. He sends me pics of avocado toast at least once a week.

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