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Summer 2016 Is the Season of Geeky Swimsuits

Summer 2016 Is the Season of Geeky Swimsuits
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This article, "Shut Up and Take My Money: It's the Summer of Geeky Swimsuits," first appeared on xoJane. For more stories like this, visit xojane.com now.

Look. We've all said "shut up and take my money," but I don't know that anyone has ever said it harder than when I saw the new Star Trek Next Generation swimwear line from ThinkGeek.

The only real question here is "WHAT COLOR?" Do you want to command the summer? Perhaps engineer a pool party? Science...a...thing? Okay, these puns aren't working. Let's just look at the suits.

Star Trek: TNG Swimwear from Thinkgeek

Just look at these glorious things. All three are good options, though I find it interesting that the red and gold come in "captain," and yet the science officer only comes in "commander."

Star Trek Suits

If you are a little more sensitive and need a bit more coverage, perhaps explore Deanna Troi's seasons 2 and 3 wardrobe.

Conservative Star Trek Suits

For the more demure vacationing Star Fleet officer, there is this beautiful, gauzy little romper number.

Fleet Officer Suit

For the Geology Nerd


Do you love rocks? Well get ready to rock this sexy little number, which boasts a pattern that is stunningly reminiscent of malachite.

For the Whovians


This monokini is made to order and crafted from the bluest of Tardis blue swim fabric. Tardis sound effects not included, though I'm sure you can manage on your own.

BlackMilk Suit

I actually can't think of a more enjoyable day at the beach/pool than wearing this suit while yelling "EXTERMINATE" and "YOU WILL EXPLAIN" at my friends and family. (This joke won't get old; trust me.)

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For the Med Students


Maybe you're a real pharmacology nerd, or maybe you just really like pills. Either way, this is a cool suit.

Anatomical Suit

This anatomically correct swimsuit is revealing in a completely different way than people are use to, and some may find it off-putting.

Wonder Woman and Supergirl

Wonder Woman

Sure, there are Batman and Superman swimsuits out there, but these three suits honor the leading ladies of DC Comics.


This plunging neckline, though.

Supergirl swimsuits

I love this suit for the adjustable ties, because hips. (Also, is that Bryce Dallas Howard?)

For the Computer Geek

Computer Geek

Okay, so this one isn't as literal as the other splashy offerings, but the circuit board-esque pattern here is quite pretty, and Miracle Suits are the actual bomb. If you are a curvier woman, and wish to feel a little more "secure" while splashing about, these suits cinch you in in the most flattering way. I have one. I love it. I plan to buy another.

Star Wars

Star Wars

I'll admit I feel kind of weird about this sexy representation of R2-D2, but not like, that weird.

Star Wars Suit

Sadly, only the top of this suit is in stock, and it's only available in XXL, but I think one of you should get it. So go forth and embrace the Dark Side!

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For the Aspiring Paleontologist


I really, really, really wanted to be a paleontologist when I was a child, but then I saw Friends, and Ross Geller ruined the subject for me. I still like dinosaurs though, and this suit is ferocious.

Which of these geeky bathing costumes suits your fancy? Which color Star Fleet swimsuit would you choose? Do you think that cover up is sexy enough to double as lingerie?

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