Because Ariel might have gotten it wrong.
I love Ariel. Really, I do. However, I think she was mistaken when she sang, "I want to be where the people are." Ari, babe, I think you meant aren't. All jokes aside, what I'm really getting at is that it would be dope to be a mermaid. Flowing hair, tails, sea shell bikini tops?! But, given that I don't know an underwater sorceress who can take away my ability to verbalize in exchange for the ability to breathe underwater, I decided to splurge on the next best thing. Yep, beauty products.
1. What's Up Nails Mermaid Scale Stencils
How stinking cute are these? You simply put the stencil over your nails as you paint to create a scale pattern. Hey, you're never going to have fins.
2. Captain Blankenship Mermaid Dry Shampoo
If there's one thing I know, it's that mermaid hair means texture. Obviously, a dusting of some mermaid dry shampoo is necessary. It will also add freshness to your hair on days when you're sweaty and hot, and the rose scent is just breathtaking.
3. Cocovit Orange + Basil Lip Balm
Mermaids don't get chapped lips, and this coconut-based lip balm will make sure that you don't, either. Also, the combined scent of sweet orange and basil is the perfect summer smell. Your pout will be plump and perfectly hydrated.
4. Captain Blankenship Golden Waves Sea Salt Shimmer Spray
You can't be a mermaid and not have beachy waves. I'm pretty sure that was written into a constitutional amendment. This salt spray will give you amazing beachy, salty, sexy texture, and it has gold shimmer. Mic drop.
5. Urban Decay Spectrum Eyeshadow Palette
This palette is limited edition, but it's also super-duper practical. Hear by out, you guys. It has a gorgeous array of neutrals, as well as bright shades that you could blend as accents or make a loud statement with your eye makeup. It also contains literally every color that you would see in the prettiest of mermaid tails.