File under things we should know by now: Stalking your ex on Instagram probably isn’t helping you get over your breakup. It's more likely responsible for igniting your anxiety and making you obsess over everything that went right and wrong in your relationship. But your phone doesn’t have to be your worse enemy. In fact, thanks to an app called Rx Breakup, it can actually help you get over your old S.O.
First step? Exit out of his photo feed before you accidentally like a snap from 13 weeks ago. The free-to-download app, founded by LA-based therapist Jane Reardon and Jeanine Lobell of Stila Cosmetics, takes you through 30 days of a daily 4-step program that helps you get over a relationship while also empowering you at the same time. Each day, you're presented with a different "breakup topic" that addresses what's happening at the moment. Then, you have two sections called "what to write" and "what to do," which both will relate back to the topic of the day. Finally, there's "what else," which pops up at 5 PM and reminds the user what they're working on.
"We thought the most effective way of boosting how they felt about themselves was to explain how they got there, what they can do to never be in that position again, and how to efficiently move through the pain they’re in are right now," explains Reardon.
After noticing that so much of the "breakup" material on the market was putting the blame on the person that got dumped, they knew they wanted to make something that was relatable, modern, and positive. They also wanted to incorporate action-oriented tasks to help re-direct the users attention and thoughts from replaying old convos and obsessing.
And making it an app instead of a book was very strategic—and telling of our tech-obsessed generation.
"We do everything on phones now—dating, shopping, etc.—so why not have a little therapy/self-help on your phone?" says Lobell. "Jane and I decided that so many of the self-help things out there are pretty harsh, a lot of them are telling you to be someone else, or to just get over things and move on, so we were determined to put something else out there. Something that would feel like your smartest girlfriend giving you the best advice ever, but in a real way, based on Jane’s training in knowing and understanding what works, and what people need to hear."
And if you're wondering if this app will help you deal with your social media stalking preoccupations, you're in luck. Reardon noticed that in today's day and age, it's become increasingly difficult to say goodbye to a relationship because there's always some photo, tag, or comment coming at you, or you're plain searching for them.
"I think it’s even more difficult to break up now because social media gives you the opportunity to act on impulse, in a super secretive way," she says. "And when you’re feeling terrible, you’re prey to your impulses to try to instantly dull that pain. The typical go-to is to rekindle feelings of connection to the ex. By trolling any of the social media platforms you can usually find out what they’re doing, if they’re hanging out with anyone new, etc. and revive that (false) sense of connection."
In the app, as hard as it might be, they suggest un-following the person and breaking all ties digitally for 30 days or more.
"At first it’s incredibly difficult, but once you get to the other side of withdrawal, which only takes a few days of solid no contact, you have the opportunity to really focus on getting better."
Another cool feature? The app includes a "red flags" list that you can pull up anytime to remind yourself of things in the relationship you didn't care for.
While we can't deny the warm and fuzzy feeling that comes with a new pair of heels, this definitely sounds cheaper than retail therapy.