I was going to start this article with my usual "Britney Spears is an American icon, national treasure, etc." tirade, but I've said that all before. And, I mean, obviously. I've rewritten this intro three times, and it's just never enough, and it's always too much. You just can't sum up Britney Spears. She's a living legend.
I don't love anyone the way I love Britney Spears. I love who she is, what she represents, and I love that her story isn't over. For anyone who has seen her live in the last year, you'll know that she's stronger than ever. And she seems happy.
Britney fans are weird in that we feel very protective over her. I know that all fans are loyal to the star they love, but Britney fans are different in that we just want her, as a person, not a pop star, to be happy. If she told us today that her next album would be her last and she was going to leave music to be a full-time mom to her two boys, we'd be (heartbroken but) cool with it. We've seen her at her best, her worst, and back to her best again, and we really just want what's best for her, even if that means walking away from music.
But we're not talking about music today. We're talking about the other most important part of the Britney brand. PERFUMES.
Britney's new joint is called Private Show, and omggggg.
It's the 20th installment in her library of scents and a new "pillar" fragrance, after Curious, Radiance, and the 700 Fantasy scents.
It's also a complete standout from the rest of her fragrance collection, and I can say that, because I've tried them all.
This scent is built around one of Britney's favorite things: a Frappuccino.
That is like...too good to be true. Throughout Britney's career, every time she's photographed by the paparazzi, she's almost always holding a Starbucks Frappuccino or some other iteration of a blended iced coffee beverage. The only way this could be more perfect is if they included Britney's other favorite items, Red Bull and Marlboros.
If that sounded like a dig, it wasn't meant to. Fraps are so ingrained in Britney's legacy that it's almost like, of course she'd have a perfume inspired by them. I'm just surprised it took this long.
So, the Frap note isn't literally a Frappuccino note, but your nose will interpret the coffee and whipped cream top notes as such. Nectarine and clementine are also at the top, adding a juicy bite to the start of the scent. Jasmine and orange blossom help to mute the sweet top notes, while a dulce de leche note works to accent it. A sweet fragrance throughout, amber and musk create a base that showcases the rest of the notes.
As if this fragrance wasn't already perfect, there's something that makes it even better: It's really fucking good.
Britney's fragrances are all awesome simply because they exist, but some I love more than others. Sometimes, they strike you as the quintessential celebrity scent, in that there are a ton of them and, a lot of the time, there's very little of her personality in them. This one feels different. A Frappuccino-inspired fragrance almost makes it seem like Britney is in on the joke.
Hidden Fantasy is my former fave, all clove-y and spice and sexy. This? This is my new favorite. It's so good.
When I first sprayed it on, I was like, what? You get everything all at once: coffee and citrus and white florals and yikes. I was scared. But I let it heat up, and that's when things got good.
Private Show is a gourmand scent, one of her only. It's sweet, yeah, but not quite as sweet as it sounds. Sweet in the way that a cappuccino smells sweet, but also warm and spicy, inviting and comforting. The coffee note is the star of the show, which sits nicely on top of the dulce de leche. The florals and musk make the scent wearable all day without the notes clashing.
It's beautiful, oh my god. Sweet but not cloying, warm but not heavy (even in July), great to wear all day, even better to wear all night. ;) ;) ;)
Coffee is one of my favorite notes in a scent. Actually, I wrote this one demented article about one of my all-time favorite fragrances that I never published. That fragrance is based around coffee too. I know that coffee might seem like a banal note to add to a fragrance when a lot of us drink and smell it every day, and we can choose to smell like anything, but it's beautiful, and you can do so much with it, and it plays well with everything. When I do my first fragrance, you can bet there's gonna be a coffee note.
I love Private Show, not because it's a Britney fragrance, but because it's a good fragrance. I love smelling it on myself all day, and wearing it makes me happy.
Tynan smells amazing on Twitter and Instagram @TynanBuck.